I’m a card carrying member of iGeneration; much of my life exists online.  Still, occasionally, the need arises for me to need to interact with a human being.  What this means is that I usually wind up on hold, with the constant assurance that my call is indeed important, and desperately pressing buttons until I get to speak to a person.

We’ve all been there, enough times that we’re able to pass judgment on the quality of the on hold experience.  Once, I waited on hold with a music loop that played nothing but Van Morisson’s “Brown-Eyed Girl” for 30 consecutive minutes.  My call was eventually answered, but when I was placed on hold again to transfer departments, I was right back to “Sha-la-la-ing.”

Donna was on hold with her cell phone company this morning, which she generously shared with the office via speakerphone.  Per usual, their on hold entertainment consisted of some drowsy elevator music interspersed with promotional and “helpful” messages.  “How would that work for us?” I jokingly suggested.

“Your donation is important to us, please hold on the line until a representative can assist you.”

“Did you know you can free a girl from bonded labor?  Just visit our website at www.globalgiving.com.”

“All of our projects are busy assisting people in other countries, if you have a project, please press 2.”

What?!  Imagine if this was the customer service model for nonprofits.  Ridiculous, but it’s worth considering that there are certain questions that frequently recur.  How do you approach those without sounding robotic (or adding an accompanying soundtrack?).  Here are some ideas:

1. Send personalized responses.  I know it’s easier to have answer templates for the questions that happen over and over, but donors are more likely to read the response and follow the directions if it appears tailored to their personal question.  Maybe the template is the model for your response, but add in an element of individuality.
2. Do what they’re doing.  We’re all so familiar with the processes of our organizations, but everyone else isn’t.  How annoying is it when a customer or technical service agent rushes you through steps with a tone of voice that is dripping with disdain and then can’t understand how you could possibly be overlooking the obvious solution?  Wicked annoying.  So when possible, go through the process in question and see what they’re seeing.
3. Ask questions.  Most of the time, customers are capable and willinging to do something on their own - with the right guidance.  Therefore, it is important to assess what the problem really is.  Does the customer not understand the whole idea, or just one piece.  Often it is easier to ask them about how they came around to the problem.  Knowing this can help you resolve their exact issue.

How else can nonprofits avoid the on-hold-robot syndrome?  What other impersonal pitfalls should we be on the lookout for?

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Eggs Baton Rouge. Po’ Boy sandwiches. And BEIGNETS! Few Washington, DC transplants may know it but in the heart of Adams Morgan, you can get a great taste of Louisiana. The spicy Cajun gem that I speak of—Bardia’s New Orleans Café—is something special, and what tops off the quaint dining experience is the personal touch of the café owner, Bardia Ferdousi.

Now I’m not a restaurant critic by trade (I’ll leave that to the guys at Zagat), but I do want to talk a bit about Bardia. I’ve dined at his restaurant at least 25 times in the past two years and have found his friendly one-to-one chats as appetizing as the food—we talk about his days studying engineering, the latest rebuilding efforts in New Orleans, and the secrets behind fried okra (delicious with spicy mustard). I love seeing the glow in his eyes when he talks about his son and daughter, and have reciprocated by bringing my friends and family to share in the “hearty” experience.

Bardia’s service is a counterpoint to the mass-produced flash that has come to dominate the information age. His restaurant may be small—and tucked away between the thumping techno clubs and posh bistros—but he’s retained my business because of his commitment to a personalized dining experience.

I wish more organizations would embrace Bardia’s example—for those in retail and nonprofit marketing, the lesson seems obvious. More isn’t always better. If I can’t relate to you or your service offerings personally, I’m sure as heck not gonna tell my friends about you. There’s something to be said about genuinely caring about your customers.

Whether you live inside or outside the Beltway, if you get a chance, I highly recommend a trip down Bardia lane.

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